Lost Love
by boxer-and-dusty
Summary: Kari has to face her past and try and win back what she has lost. Huge revelation for her..... Story better than summary!
1. Default Chapter

Lost Love chapter 1: Birthday wishes do come true!!  
  
Disclaimer Don't own any digimon or any of the characters names or stuff so please DON'T SUE (I think I made my point!)  
  
This s the ideas for about 4 fics all moulded into 1. I came up with the combination in the bath. Better than the name and the summary  
  
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Today is my birthday. I am 25 years old and I live in Odaiba, Japan. This has been my home for my entire life. I have made and lost many great friends here. I work at the hospital near the centre of Odaiba. I am a doctor and I am stationed at the children's department. I am waiting for my next patient to come in at this moment. I love working with children because they are so full of life and imagination. Like I was once I suppose. I have none of my own children though. I have not met the right man yet. My other main passion is photography. My name is Hikari Tao. It didn't use to be though.  
  
When I had just turned 19 my world was perfect. I had just finished my education and was about to start my training as a doctor. I spent a week with my parents and my brother in Italy. We had such a great time and everything. Like I said, it was perfect. But on the return plane journey, everything changed.  
  
We all talked laughed and joked innocently about the holiday. We laughed at the photos we had taken; we sang the old and stupid children's songs. Life was going really well, we were all peaceful, the woman behind me was snoring loudly and we were only a couple of hours away from landing at the airport. Then the cabin oxygen failed. We didn't know what was happening at first. Then this voice told us through the loudspeaker to put on the oxygen masks. He told us that it was not a drill.  
  
There was a lot of panic. Many started yelling about wills and death. I was utterly terrified. I remember being completely bemused and a little stuck. This could have cost me my life, but for the fact that I was sitting next to my brother. He is one of the most amazingly calm and strong people in the world. With his help I knew I was safe and soon we both fitted our oxygen masks and we were breathing normally. I smiled gratefully at him. I love Tai to bits for everything he does for me. We turned instinctively to check on our parents. At first I was relieved because they both seemed ok. Then I noticed something was wrong. They both had their oxygen masks on but there was still something that did not seem right. It was little movement at first but then they began to thrash around, panicking, and what looked like silent screaming. I was scared but it didn't occur to me what might be wrong with them. It took me a while to realise that their oxygen masks hadn't worked. I wish now that I had not been stupid and sat there doing nothing. I wish I knew had known instantly what was wrong and could have helped them. But I had no idea what to do, where to start. My brother and I tried to help them as best we could but to no avail.  
  
None of the air stewards would get up and help them even though we tried to attract their attention. They simply ignored us. It seemed to them that it was not worth trying to help these people who were obviously in great peril. However, if they had got up they would no longer have been able to use the oxygen as the masks do not stretch very far. It was our parents' life or theirs, they decided. You can probably guess who they choose. So my brother and I watched in horror as our parents struggled and cried out. Much to our horror, the thrashing became less violent after a while; soon I could hear no sound. By the time we landed at the airport it was too late to save them. They had been dead for a very long time.  
  
When we got off the plane my brother and I had a long talk. We both realised that we did not want to talk to anyone about it. So my brother transferred to a university in Tokyo. Neither of us wanted to face our friends. We both wanted to forget. We felt dejected and lost but most importantly we felt ashamed. We both knew deep down that there was nothing we could have done but we felt as though there could have been. However we also knew that our parents would have preferred it this way instead of one of us dying in order to save them. I changed my name for a different reason, something that happened shortly after that fateful day. Something that I can never forget, not for the rest of my life. It has changed my life forever and I have never forgiven myself for letting them leave my life.  
  
So Tai and I parted ways. We still keep in contact and see each other regularly. But each of us reminds the other of that awful day. Tai stayed on in Tokyo after he finished his university. He now works as a computer technician for some old boring company. But he has a new circle of friends. Actually, technically that isn't true. When Tai went to Tokyo he would never imagine that some of his old circle of friends would be there too. He met Sora and Matt, accidentally by nearly tripping Matt up as they were crossing the street from opposite sides. Sora and Matt were engaged. He tells me in his emails that they keep asking after me and wanting me to come down and see them but I cannot. I can't face any of them, I don't want to.  
  
I grew up with them and they know me too well, they can read me like a book. I particularly do not want to see Matt. Not for his own faults but because Matt would be sure to tell "him" about me and I could not face him. Not after he took away from me the two most important things in my life. I am a fool though, I love him, I have done everyday of my life and I always will. I cannot make myself love another like I love TK. It has made it worse by the fact that I have loved him all my life, ever since I was a little girl of 8 and I first entered the digital world and met Gatomon. I haven't seen Gatomon for a long time now. But I know she watches over me and takes care of me. TK is....  
  
I was cut short from my dream as a harassed young doctor entered the room. Her name is Claire but I do not know her very well. I believe she is half Japan but was brought up in England but I am not sure. I'm sure she was a little shocked t see me like this,  
  
"Dr Tao," she said, a little breathless, "emergency, two kids have just come in, there was a fire where they were staying, both are badly burned, they need you in the emergency ward quick." As I ran out of the door pulling my coat around me she manages to shout before I was out of earshot,  
  
"Oh and happy birthday by the way." This little bit of confidence shot through me and suddenly I was alight with happiness and full of determination. I ran out of the room and straight down the corridor. There were two people who needed me and I wasn't going to make them wait.  
  
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I shot through the door to the emergency room and sought out Mike. I found him quickly. He looked relieved to see me,  
  
"Glad you here, happy birthday by the way,"  
  
I ignored him. I was more intent on the job in hand." What have we got" I asked him briskly.  
  
We were walking now. Mike turned his serious face, lined with age, towards me,  
  
"Two children, both six years old. They are twins, one male and one female. They were staying with a family friend while their parents were on holiday in Dubai. This hose caught fire in the early hours of this morning. Both have been badly hurt. This family friend wasn't so lucky though, she was pronounced dead on the scene."  
  
"What is the state of their injuries," I asked him looking worried  
  
"Both have suffered bad burns. The girl we believe has possibly suffered worse damage, query broken rib and leg? I am told she went back in to try and get this woman out. I must say she has got spirit, a bit like you. Do you remember when..?"  
  
He broke off. We were now in the emergency ward. Lying on two beds next to each other were two small forms. One sat up when he heard movement. The other lay quite still.  
  
"Will my sister be all right?" asked the boy, I knelt down beside him. He had the most startlingly blue eyes I had ever seen. Most of his hair had been burned off but I saw a few blonde wisps just visible.  
  
"I am going to do all I can to ensure that she will be". I answered him, "Can you tell me your name please?"  
  
"My sister is Emma and I am David, David Takaishi."  
  
I leapt backwards, a mixture of fear and shock on my face. I dared not believe it. Impossible as it may seem, the two children in front of me were my own, I was their mother  
  
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I think this has been my best idea for a fic so far. I'm sorry the kids don't have better names. I couldn't think of any at the time. Anyway love you all. Please READ + REVIEW. Bye 4 now  
  
Boxer-and-dusty xxx 


	2. My Babies!

Chapter 2: My babies  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own any digimon, never have, never will so quit pestering me OK?  
  
Wow, I finally finished it. This chapter is probably PG13 though I am no good at rating stories. Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed my fics, I love all of you guys. I am slowly getting on with all the chapters that I need to do. Ok, I think I have talked enough, let's get this chapter started..........  
  
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I was paralysed with shock and strangely, fear. For what seemed like an age time stopped. All I could see were those two forms in front of me. I knew them now, for I had know it was them since I had first seen them but so much of me had wanted to deny it. I was almost overcome by tears.  
  
I recognised them now. I can remember the day I gave birth to them. Such pains and suffering during labour but it was all worth it in the end. I can remember holding them in my arms and, for the first time in my life, being truly happy. That's what people told me before, it's a feeling you can't describe, having your first child. Well my first child was twins so the feeling doubled intensely. It was like my heart had split open because of the swelling of pride, love, hope and, well, light.  
  
David had come first. Even in the early hours of his birth we could tell that he looked almost identical to his dad. I say we because well, TK was at the birth with me. To tell you the truth I have never seen him look prouder, of me and the children. We were one big happy family, then. I looked at David now. His face was lined with concern, seeming beyond his years. His entire attention was focused on the small form beside him. Emma hadn't moved at all. When she had been young she had always been very small and rather frail. I can remember that she had asthma as a baby. This piece of news which I had only just remembered came as a shock to me. As a baby, Emma's asthma had been really bad. There had been a few crucial hours soon after her birth when I almost lost my baby, my darling.  
  
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I turned instinctively to David. I no longer had any knowledge of onlookers Emma may really need her inhalers and no one was doing anything,  
  
"David," I asked, my voice nervous, what would happen, "David, when was the last time Emma used her inhalers? "  
  
I could have predicted the reaction. David was calm but the onlookers were all looking quizzically at me but at the same time, they were waiting for David's response. David turned his eyes on me and, although I could see his eyes wee brimming with tears, he was looking at me with respect and almost love as though, I was the only one in the world who understood. He addressed me directly,  
  
"She's ok, I think, but her inhalers were burned in the house so she is going to need new ones," I smiled feebly at him, on the verge of breaking down. I motioned to the nearest nurse,  
  
"If you can remember what the inhalers were then we can find them for you, tell this nurse"  
  
He nodded and quite suddenly pulled me towards him,  
  
"Please come and see us again, Dr Tao," he whispered imploring me.  
  
I smiled at him, "Please David, call me mum.... Call me Kari." I was still smiling at him when I heard a voice behind me who began to pull me away, away from my darlings. I wondered for the second time in my life, when I would ever see them again.  
  
I heard a door close behind me, "Right Kari," Mike's face was hard but a little confused, "What do you know, how did you know that that kid was asthmatic, Kari? Kari, what's the matter? For Mike could see me clearly now. I was sobbing hysterically, tears rolling down my face. Mike didn't say anything, he just pushed me into the chair next to him and sat down,  
  
"Please Kari," he said, taking hold of my hand, "I want to help, tell me what is the matter."  
  
I looked into those great grey eyes and, still sobbing hysterically, I told him everything,  
  
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I was about three months since I had returned to my home town. I was still badly shaken and missing my parents like hell. I was ringing Tai everyday because I needed to let out the emotions that I was keeping bottled up inside. Tai was great. He is the greatest big brother ever and I know that I can count on him for everything I want. He is the best.  
  
One night I was walking home from the grocers. It was late and I was only about two blocks away from my apartment. I was crossing a street when I was basically run down by a car. I was picking myself up, when the driver got out of his car to help me. I knew him at once. Takeru Takaishi. He and I had grown up together. Of course, once he realised it was me he wanted to go for a drink to catch up on old times. I let him take me. It wasn't that I did not want to, to tell you the truth, I had always fancied TK for a very long time.  
  
Well, we went out and we had a great time. We talked and laughed like old friends. But, that was all that we were, friends. That night, I got a lot off my chest and it made me feel a lot better. I still didn't tell him that my parents were dead. I didn't want his pity, having only just got over it. Over the next few weeks we went out a whole lot. Like I said, it was great. But we never did anything, kiss or further. I didn't know if I wanted him to. For the time being, we were happy being just friends.  
  
But I couldn't keep up the charade for ever; I had to tell him the secret that had been haunting me for so long. So when we were watching a film at home, I told him. I told how I had been orphaned in that terrible plane crash, how brilliant Tai had been and how, all I wanted to do now was forget. I poured my heart out to him in 15 minutes but, at the end of it all, I suddenly felt so alive. A huge burden was lifted from me and I could finally be myself, who I wanted to be and stand tall and proud.  
  
Throughout my story, T.K sat and listened to me. When I had finished and stared at him, wondering what he would say to me, all he could say was, "I'm sorry Kari, sorry for everything." Then he took me in his arms and kissed me warmly. It was slow at first, but then it became more passionate and rough. It was beautiful; I never wanted it to end. But that night it went farther than it should have ever done. So, nine months later, I was in the Tokyo hospital (I didn't want anyone I knew seeing me like that) where I gave birth to David Samuel Takaishi-Kamiya and Emma Rebecca Takaishi- Kamiya. I chose to keep my children because, I would well be a hypocrite after all, I spend my days as a doctor in the children's hospital don't I?  
  
T.K was at the hospital with me. He was smiling so much and I have never seen him look happier. We chose not to get married because, as much as we loved each other, our children were still the result of a one night stand. I am glad we never did.  
  
Three months after I started going back to work, I returned home to find T.K in bed with another woman. He told me it would never happen again, a mistake he said. The next day I came home early from work because of a bad headache to find much the same scene unfolding before my eyes.  
  
So after a lot of talk and nearly two bottles of brandy we decided to separate. We went to the courts to decide who would retain the custody of our children. As I was working late shifts most nights, with never a guarantee of when I would be back and T.K was working from home, the courts ruled that the children were to live with Takeru. I was meant to see them on weekends but, soon after this ruling, I returned to the house to find that they had moved to England with another woman.  
  
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"And I never came after them Mike," I finished, "I never went to find my babies though I have missed them so much, everyday I think of them. And now, and now Mike these children do not even know who I am." I buried my face in his shoulder and sobbed hysterically.  
  
Gingerly Mike patted my arm. "What are we going to do, Kari, what are we going to do?"  
  
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Hope you liked it. Please review, thanks to everyone who reviewed so far. I'll update soon  
  
Boxer-and-dusty xxx 


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